What’s the Matter With Texas?

Racism, loose gun rights, and a hint of secession. The Texas Republican state convention had it all.

What’s the Matter With Texas?

Just when you thought the Funhouse had run out of mirrors, and that it was a virtual certainty that no place could be crazier than Florida, along comes Texas.

The Texas Republican Party released its platform at its recent state convention to a few adoring fans and more than a few raised eyebrows.

This is no center-right platform. It is to the right of Attila the Hun and downright loopy. The managing editor for news and politics at the Texas Tribune, Matthew Watkins, wanted us all to know about the great divide, so to give us a sense of how disconnected the party faithful are from the rest of Texans, Republicans and Democrats alike, he Tweeted this: "John Cornyn, booed in the hall [for his audacity to pursue a bipartisan gun safety law], received 76% of the vote in his last primary race. Greg Abbott, who didn't give a speech, received 67%. Ken Paxton [Attorney General], who got a standing ovation, received 43% in March."

Everyone knows Texans love it BIG, so it should come as no surprise that the radical right elements in the Texas GOP can’t stop trying to convince the rest of us that the Big Lie is really a big truth. They didn’t bother with evidence—since over the course of more than sixty lawsuits, including a few that got litigants reprimanded, and even got Rudy Giuliani suspended from the practice of law—they were unable to put forth a single iota of proof.

So what’s in this platform? For openers, fantasy: Joe Biden is the “acting” president, since he was not legitimately elected. Then there’s the blatant racism of demanding that the Voting Rights Act of 1965 be repealed. Next, there’s the expected Second Amendment fetishization that renounces any gun safety measures whatsoever. Thus, no gun-free zones, no red flag laws to protect abused partners, and no raised age limit on buying assault rifles, let alone a background check or cooling off period.

But my absolute favorite is "for the people of Texas to determine whether or not the State of Texas should reassert its status as an independent nation." That’s right: secession. I’d hate to have to produce a passport to visit my brother in Dallas, but it’s a price I’m willing to pay if these folks succeed. It’s clear that some number of Texans wish they weren’t subject to the laws of the United States. It’s unclear how many of them would like to secede. I know that we generally frown upon secession, I mean we fought our deadliest war to hold the nation together, but I’d be willing to let Texas go. Other than their religious devotion to high school football and really good fajitas, there isn’t that much to recommend keeping them in the family.

Sure, it’s the center of our petrol economy, Austin is weirdly cool, and there are lots of wide open spaces in West Texas where you can get lost in thought, but the whole place has over-served itself. Must be the mezcal.

And what would a big extreme right wing convention in Texas be without multiple screenings of the cinematic version of the Big Lie, “2000 Mules”? This Dinesh D’Souza masterpiece of propaganda has garnered amazing, okay, make that “amazed” reviews from people like former Attorney General William Barr who’s boffo quote goes, “Just indefensible,” and that’s from someone on their team. You see, the film makes the very leaky case that people, were used as “mules” to stuff phony ballots into drop boxes. Long on cinema verité, and short on facts, the entire thing takes on water fast. The director doesn’t exactly begin with a lot of credibility, since he himself was convicted of voter fraud for making illegal campaign contributions in other people's names. But don’t worry, no fines or jail time—he was pardoned by the star of his little film, the Former Guy.

Now that the Supreme Court has used Dobbs v. Jackson to overturn Roe v. Wade’s claim to a Constitutional right to abortion, the aforementioned AG, Ken Paxton, is excited to defend a law he hopes the legislature there will create. One that would reverse course on gay marriage via a new run at sodomy laws that the SCOTUS overturned years ago. Predicting that the same “originalist” dogma the court’s six-vote right wing employed to take women’s choice off the table, he is certain he can make stick a new law restricting who gets to marry, and what goes on in millions of Texas bedrooms. Widespread speculation has him going after birth control as well. Power and control over the majority of voters is his clear aim.

What remains unclear is how infectious new Texas morality laws will prove to be.

©2022 Jon Sinton